Success and Failure

Thanks Billy Joel

Mon, 19 Dec 2011 19:50:21 -0500

I am leaving Reno tomorrow. I am not coming back. I am no overly excited to leave. You know that feeling on the last day of school before summer or even before Christmas vacation? You’re so happy? You’re so relieved to be out of there? I don’t feel that feeling. I am not sad to leave this place, just not overwhelmed with joy and excitement. I would have liked for it to work out here.

I just had my “Jazz Final”… I performed for all the Jazz faculty. They all know that I’m leaving. They all wished me luck. I shook all their hands, thanked them, and said Happy Holidays and left.

I have one final left. I am not worried about it, not as worried as I was earlier today. I think I was mostly worried about the Jazz performance. Not that I was nervous for its difficulty, but just nervous to be playing for humans, and playing for my teachers. I played a song, they critiqued with things like “Somers, why didn’t you go to the Eb Minor scale?” another teacher would say, “No, he went to it, it was just a bit off”. They questioned the notes I played and my phrasing. Maybe I just think too simply to need to play all those notes. Maybe I’m just a big shot kid who thinks he knows more than he actually does. I guess I’ll find out someday. Maybe I’ll understand why I should have gone to Eb Minor.

“I don’t need you to worry for me, cause I’m all alright.

I don’t want you to tell me it’s time to come home.

I don’t care what you say anymore, this is my life.

Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone.”

icelandwantstobeyourfriend: My people don’t have any gays in their military. But that’s only...

Mon, 12 Dec 2011 19:44:46 -0500

icelandwantstobeyourfriend:

My people don’t have any gays in their military. But that’s only because they don’t have a military.
— Iceland (@thisisiceland) December 12, 2011

Springsteen, Prophet, and U2

Thu, 08 Dec 2011 23:03:21 -0500

There is a tier of musicians that I live by. I have my top 3 that shape my life, and all other fall beneath them. It’s not that these are the best musicians in the world, by no means, but their music says more to me and does more to me than any other’s music.

And I realized this week, that I listen to the different artists at different stages of my feelings. I will listen to Bruce Springsteen when I feel like I am lacking success in life- when I feel like I have somehow lost the point in all of my working. I think that could be because Bruce has worked so hard, and has what you could call a success story. He had, by no means, an extravagant childhood. Not to say that I have had the same, because I think my childhood has been great. I don’t have stories of my father shaving my head while I has in the hospital, or being drafted for Vietnam, or anything like that, so I know I don’t have it that bad, or bad at all. But I listen to Bruce while needing more… wanting more.

I listen to U2 when I am emotionally, romantically, or in any way, just sad. I think it’s because their music is so clear and concise that I don’t need to guess, I don’t need to wonder what Bono is singing about. And it’s not that what I hear is what he’s saying, or what he’s singing about is what I think he’s singing about, it’s just that it makes me feel a certain way, and my body internalizes those feelings very quickly. I do not need time to react or think. It might even be, for example, that Bono could sing “I like chocolate ice-cream but never vanilla.” And that doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean a thing, but he would sing it with passion and strength, and I think those are things that I generally lack in areas of life, or at least, reciprocated passion and strength. And for those that do not like Bono or U2, that’s fine, Bono did not actually sing those words, it was just an example… to prove that I worship the ground that he walks on. Or the words that he sings. And the same applies to all of the band members, not just Bono. They all do what they do with such passion, it’s overwhelming. They evoke so much emotion because they all play with such passion that it’s almost too much passion. It’s a wonder that whatever speakers they’re being played out of don’t just explode from all of the passion. Larry, Adam, and Edge. They all play with passion and strength.

Chuck brings be much joy. Chuck is a musical genius. His music is so simple. It is exactly what I want to be. He paralyzes me. I listen to Chuck in times of musical need… he satisfies so much. I wish I had more to say….

I’ve been thinking about people lately. More specifically, people who lack intelligence. After a long phone conversation with Mr. Day last week, I’ve had the subject of stupidity on my mind. Mr. Day and I share ideas, and share frustrations. We both do not enjoy stupid people. He talked about why Darwin was wrong… Survival of the fittest. I think I might write a bit on that.

“Survival of The Fittest: Why Darwin Was Wrong”

Coming soon to a theatre near you…

Headphones are best. Loudly.

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 02:14:52 -0500

Headphones are best. Loudly. :

Will YOU listen?

New Music Posted

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 01:19:34 -0500

New Music Posted

I'm dreaming of a...

Fri, 18 Nov 2011 22:46:00 -0500

Snow is nice, some of the time. I realize the Bing Crosby’s “A Marshmallow World” makes snow seem wonderful… but that’s not really the case. It’s wonderful when you’re inside, or maybe outside to build a snowman. But if you’re not doing one of those things, you would prefer it not be snowing. Also, why were they so happy when it snowed in “A White Christmas?” It snowed… and maybe I remember this incorrectly, but it snowed and then everyone was happy, and there were suddenly lots of people at the lodge. How did they get there? Why were they happy. I guess they didn’t have to deal with chains. They either go to their destination or died… Those were the 2 choices.

The road is no longer covered in snow. We are not high enough or cold enough for snow anymore, so now it’s just raining.

I have Wifi. There are about 7 people on the Greyhound. The death of public transit… I’m pretty sure this could be considered public transit. If it’s not… I don’t really care. There ain’t nobody on this bus.

That’s all. My head hurts from looking at the screen….

Safe travels.

Brinner.

Thu, 17 Nov 2011 00:08:00 -0500

It was a nice today. I am finding and learning ways to combat the things that come into my head that I do not necessarily want to be there.

I woke up and showered, dressed, and then went back to the bathroom to brush my teeth and hair. When I was brushing my teeth, the older hispanic female janitor came in and emptied the trash, she said hello in her little Spanish accent and I said good morning. She brought a new bag for the garbage can, stepped out, and I started to brush my hair. She came back a moment later with a stick of gum, still wrapped, and a piece of hard candy. She held out her open hand and she said, “Here. You my friend.” The more I think this whole situation through, the more and more wonderful it gets…. The simple things.

I walked to class and it was quite windy. The leaves that refused to fall off of the trees are officially being destroyed by the weather. The wind was everywhere. There were tornados of leaves everywhere, and it was funny to watch people walk and then be in the middle of the tornados. Some people were walking and saw the tornado start to come to life, so they would freeze, and go around it in a furry of frustration- I think because it was messing up their hair.

Ms. Park, my Sight-Singing and Dictation teacher is leaving for Korea this weekend for a concert series that she is doing there. She won’t be returning this semester. It was sad, I liked having her as my teacher. So instead of her for the last couple weeks of the semester, we will be having her fiancé, Mr. Atapine (pronounced, uh, lets see if I can do this… ahtyap-in.) He’s Russian. He has a heavy accent and so does she. She is from Korea though. She is adorable and a wonderful piano player. She played for us today, and I think I fell in love with her. So she is leaving. Oh well.

After classes, I had brinner. Which, for those of you who don’t know, is breakfast for dinner. I went to a friends, and made waffles. John made eggs, bacon, and sausage. And I’m pretty sure that JoyceAnn didn’t do anything, but she will tell you otherwise. Oh that’s right! She yelled at me. Now I remember.

Now I am back. I have a Music Theory test. I am comfortable with 90% of the information. The other 10% is confusing and just needs to be memorized. I am getting that done. I have flash-cards. I feel good about it though- not scared. And even if I blank on that 10%, I will still get an A, right? That math makes sense I think…. Unless more than 10% of the test is on the 10% that I don’t understand… There we go. That makes sense. Yes, yes it does.

I don’t know why I stopped blogging on here. I sort of forgot how to write. I don’t write a lot in college. I write a page each week for Humanities, and that’s all the writing I do. So that particular skill is definitely dying. Despite the fact that this is not at all academic or graded, it still keeps those particular mind grapes from growing soggy and shrinking. That’s a conundrum. Growing soggy and shrinking. Doesn’t quite make sense, does it? See what I mean, it’s already happening.

I will be home in almost 24 hours. That’s a good feeling. Here I come Lucky! Get my bed nice and warm and worn-in!

Audio

Tue, 15 Nov 2011 00:21:27 -0500

Holiday Season

Tue, 15 Nov 2011 00:20:49 -0500

I will further be referring to this part of the year that we are currently in, as the ‘Holiday Season.’ While we may not be at ‘The Holiday,’ we are a part of the months that contain the holidays… Thanksgiving and Christmas. There is something naturally sad about this time of year, I do not know why. It should be a happy time, but there is sadness in it. You would think that the birth of Jesus would be a happy occasion, but maybe it’s not so happy, because you know, he dies. So there’s always that.

But I think a large part of the sadness now is connected to me being away from home. It’s different now, having to go home for Thanksgiving, trying to make it work with classes and things like that. And just generally missing my family, and learning to appreciate them- not that I didn’t appreciate them before, but you know.

Also, the wonders of Frank Sinatra’s “I’ll Be Home For Christmas,” which thanks to Sky, is now the saddest song in the world. It was the song that we listened to after saying goodbye to Hana and Lucas and their family when they moved to Georgia. It was a few days before Christmas, and I cried the whole drive back to our house from their house. It was an interesting experience, one which I shall not forget.

Alley-Oop

Sun, 13 Nov 2011 21:42:20 -0500

I am setting myself up for some sort of disappointment or sadness. I have been listening to Christmas music all weekend. I don’t know why. Well, that’s not true. I do know why. Because Hana posted that She and Him Christmas song, and then I saw that they had a full Christmas album, so then I bought it. And now I have a Christmas playlist on my iTunes of Frank, Bing, She and Him, Judy Garland, and Bright Eyes. It makes me happy now, but maybe after a week of listening and no arrival of Christmas, I will start to feel the side affects. We shall see.

My iPod is dying I think. I do not know if it is my iTunes, or my iPod, or my computer. I think it is my iPod though, because I had this same problem with the PC back at home. I try to upload music, and then my iPod crashes, and I have to restore it, and start over. I will put 1000 songs on it, and that will only take a few minutes, and then I upload some more. and it stops, and does not upload them, all I will see is the progress bar at the top of iTunes saying that it is uploading 11 of 33 songs, and 20 minutes later, it will still say uploading 11 of 33 songs. Then I don’t know what to do, and try to press the cancel button for the uploading, but it does nothing. I try to eject the iPod, it does nothing. The stupid little rainbow wheel just spins, laughing at me. Then I lose patience and just unplug my iPod and hope that the 1000 songs that I have already put on there are still there, most of the time, they are not. I have done this about a dozen times. I’m sure that me repeating this process does not help very much, but I lose my patience.

Movies and Music

Sat, 15 Oct 2011 00:56:44 -0400

Its been a busy week. Had a midterm, a bunch of quizzes, dentist appointment, homework, big paper to write, and it is still coming. The hall is empty- I think I could run through it naked right now, and it wouldn’t mean anything. Again, I’m not sure where everyone has went. While I don’t appreciate that I wasn’t invited, I’m not sore about it like I was the first couple of weeks. I don’t know why people don’t invite me though- probably because they were going to smoke or drink or something, and they know that I don’t do that kind of stuff. Either way- I don’t know where everyone is. Someone had told me that people were gonna go downtown, but I wasn’t invited on this journey. Maybe I should swallow my pride and invite myself, but I’ve never been that kind of person… at least I don’t think I’ve been that kind of person. It’s interesting that they all went downtown, because I had mentioned to someone that I might go downtown to see the rock wall that they just built- and that’s where everyone is. I might just need to include myself in things and be obnoxious and be a part of people’s lives- but I don’t like forcing my way into things.

However, I can only get so much satisfaction from downloading movies and TV shows to watch…. I’ve watched too many movies in the past 2 weeks- way too many movies. It’s a good feeling though- being able to watch any movie that I’d like. I’m limitless! However, I’m starting to run out of movies that I have wanted to see. So I’ve been spending a lot of time on IMDB and searching for an actor that I like and downloading all of their movies- and that’s a good thing. However- there are reasons that some of these movies are unknown. That’s all I’ll say about that.

Also, I sang and recorded a lot when I first got here- a lot of cover songs, and now I don’t know what to sing anymore. I have run out of ideas.

The room above me is pounding on the floor…

Brass Knuckles

Tue, 11 Oct 2011 22:36:38 -0400

Most days I am fine. Most days are easy- even this week, which has been kind of hectic. I think this week, and the end of last week have really made me feel like I’m in college. I have a huge paper that I had to write, and a bunch of quizzes to take to catch up for a class that I just added. a tooth ache, lots of songs to learn, and a midterm tomorrow. I feel like I’ve been handling everything pretty well. Handling the social life well, brushing my teeth after every meal, and while I did wait until the night before it was due to do my big paper, I started in the morning- and finished in the early afternoon. Whereas is high school, I would start later rather that earlier, and make things even harder for myself. While I have not changed all my ways, I know that I have made little changes, and collectively I have a better rate of success.

My hands/knuckles are beginning to crack and bleed, so I’ve been putting lotion on them about 3 or 4 times a day, and they don’t get worse when they have lotion on them. They don’t really get better- they just stay the same.

Certain times of the day are harder than others. Every once in a while I will smell something and it will remind me of something from back home. I’ll pass a girl that will wear the same perfume as a girl that I used to know, or smell something in nature that will remind me of something else…. That’s the hardest part. Sometimes I wish that I didn’t have a sense of smell.

The only thing that I haven’t quite made time for is laundry…. I don’t think I have any clean socks left… Oh well….

Keep the Phaith.

Sat, 08 Oct 2011 00:20:25 -0400

I have been a good fan- and a good sportsman. I shook my friends hand when the Yankees lost, even though I don’t necessary care for the Yankees. I am always kind, and never retaliate when people throw food at me or curse at me when I wear my Phillies attire. Tonight, before the game, a guy in the hall who is a Cardinals fan was talking to me about the game. He said, “Man, F*** the Phillies, F*** Halladay. The Cardinals are the best team in Baseball”. But they’re not. I find it mysterious when people like this get the prize. I do not curse at people or shame their teams. And certainly, it was not appreciated that the Cardinals held up little stuffed animal squirrels in the locker room when they won.

I love the Phillies. I am at a loss.

The Yankees fans and Cardinals fans in the hall didn’t even watch their respective team’s final games of their series’. I am Phaithful. I am a Phillies fan.

And How!

Thu, 06 Oct 2011 21:17:00 -0400

College is especially good place to people watch. It’s fun to sit outside and just watch people- their interactions with each other. I people watch a lot in math class, because my teacher gives us practice problems to work on with our neighbors. My little pod of people usually finishes our problems fairly quickly. Although, today she gave us about ten minutes to do 2 simple problems, or what I though were simple problems. Whenever she asks the class what the answers are to the problems, we just say what we got out loud. No one raises their hand or anything like that- which is the way she wants it. But I’ve noticed that for most of the time I’m one of the only people that says the answers, or sometimes, I am the only person. Whenever I speak though, or say an answer, people look at me like they hate me, so today I decided that I wasn’t going to say any more answers… because I understood it, and I thought, or decided that maybe that the whole answer saying process was not for those that knew how to do it, but rather for those who did not know how to do it. So I let the people who may or may not have been struggling speak and give it a try. We had done a problem, she asked for the answer, and everyone just sat in silence for about 30 seconds… My neighbor and work partner was getting mad at me… “Somers, just say it! Say it Somers!” I did not. In this process of answering and speaking in class, thinking how I would go about it, I couldn’t help but think what Jack Donaghy would do. I have watched a great amount of 30 Rock since I’ve been in college, so I’ve had the characters going through my head all of the time. I tried to think what Jack would do, but I had no clue. I know he’s strong and bold and is a leader, but I felt like this would be a place for him to step back and let others grow and speak. That was the conclusion I came to. Anyway, that was not the point of this particular blog… I shall get to the point right now.

In my math class, there are about 200 people, of which I know about 5. I was thinking that as school has gone on, school as in the past 13 years of our lives, we have slowly known less and less people in our classes. Maybe this is just me, and not actually a reasonable statistic for societies to follow, but I know that as the years have gone on, I have become less involved with people in each of my classes. In elementary school, we knew everybody in our class. Chances are that we would play with those kids at recess too- even the weird kids. I know that when I was young I played with everyone, I don’t think we were in any position to choose who we would be friends with. And it’s not like the playgrounds were filled with large amounts of things to do. You could either try and play basketball at 3 and a half feet tall, play tether ball, play wall ball, or go on the jungle-gym stuff. And I know that every year of my schooling I did each and every one of those things. In wall ball you could play 10 to 15 different people in 10 minutes… the possibilities were endless! It stayed this way all throughout elementary school it would seem. 6th grade might have been the exception because everyone thought that they were cool. In middle school the separation began. The reason for this separation is naturally that we’re not around these people as often. Middle school started the rotation of classes. We had 6 different classes, 6 different teachers, and not everyone had the same order of classes. So we had different people in each of our classes… not as much time with each person. High school was the same, but since high schools are much larger than middle schools, there are more people that you get to know. You might think that you would have 1000 really awesome friends, whereas in elementary school you only had 100. But this does not work. Instead, you have 5 good friends, and 995 people that you sort of know. College is that way. There are 16000 people here, so you do the math there. I will have -25 good friends and 16025 people that I sort of know. That is my logic- I’m a reasonable source too- I’m a high school graduate and enrolled in college! I am quite educated…

In Your Face

Thu, 06 Oct 2011 00:08:18 -0400

It’s cold outside. It smells like nature. It smells like christmas. The weather is teasing me.

I walked to the student center the other day to buy blank CDs. It was the first day that it was cold, and reasonably cold. Cold enough to wear a jacket. I walked up campus and listened to Sigur Ros, enjoyed the cold, and enjoyed keeping myself warm with my hoodie and jacket combo. On the way back to the dorm (a 5 minute walk) I saw 2 fellas walking and holding hands. It was nice. They were not overly homosexual or in your face about it. They were smiling and just holding hands and walking to wherever they were going. It was nice. I am not against gay people, but it seems that most of the time- they’re too in your face about it- and I don’t care for those types of people. But these guys seemed nice, they seemed like they were just paying attention to each other, and not putting on a show of homosexuality like I’ve seen so many times before.

It was especially cold today, and saw many people walking and holding hands- all straight people today though. And I got to thinking about these people. It was pretty cold today- I mean, I might be a wimp when it comes to this stuff, but cold is cold- plain and simple. So people were holding hands and I could just imagine how uncomfortable that must have bee. I had gloves on and had my hands shoved in my jacket pockets, I don’t think I would have liked to have my bare hands out for the cold to attack. I mean, holding hands is nice and all, but it was cold! That’s my philosophy… I’m pretty cool, I know.

I downloaded many torrents the other night, trying to find happiness in every pocket of life. I downloaded Dumbo, Tarza, Beauty and The Beast, Fievel Goes West, every episode of Johnny Quest, and every episode of The Jetsons…. I am quite happy about all of this. Even if I never watch them, that doesn’t matter; just the fact that I have them on my computer and can watch them whenever I please. I’m most excited about Tarzan (thank you Phil Collins) and The Jetsons though…. I always wanted to watch the Jetsons, but I could never really find it when I was younger, and I don’t think I recognized patterns on TVs. I did not know for instance that it would be on every morning at 8. But now I have all the episodes! Ha! Who’s laughing now, child version of me?! I am. I am indeed. I think I will get Looney Toons as well… I could go for that. Oh! I also downloaded many Charlie Brown cartoon specials… which are always good- you can never go wrong. Also, which I am going to watch when I finish this, is The Red Ballon. Do you know it? I hope you do… if you don’t, look it up and try and find it on the inter web somewhere.That’ll all I’ll say.

Tis’ all for now.

My Music

Tue, 04 Oct 2011 02:14:08 -0400

My Music:

Updated again!

Untitled 1

Mon, 03 Oct 2011 23:35:18 -0400

I know that this will be a silly statement- but I saw the moon tonight for the first time in a long time- perhaps for the first time since I’ve been here. I haven’t really been out at night- so I haven’t had a great amount of opportunity to see it. But I saw it tonight through lots of fog, and it was quite nice. I stopped and watched it for a while, while listening to Sigur Ros. It was very nice. I enjoyed it. Along with seeing it, it was cold outside tonight, I wore a jacket, but could have and probably should have worn more layers. It was nice being cold though- it’s a feeling that I haven’t felt in a while, so I cherished it. I left the dorm early to go to class, I got there very early, like I had wanted, so I sat outside in the cold and looked at the clouds that seemed to promise pure doom. I was surprised to see that when I had gotten out of class about an hour and a half later that it was not wet outside. The sky was completely grey when I had gone into class. It had not been night yet- all clouds were grey. Strangely though, underneath the layer of blanketing grey clouds were sparse white puffy clouds. It was an interesting layer- and I don’t know that I had seen the likes of it before. It was nice though- not frightening. There has been thunder and lightening occurring several times over the past couple of weeks. I think thunder and lightning has occurred more in the past 2 weeks here than years in Fairfield- I am not in favor of that. I’m still haunted by myths (or truths, I’m not really sure) of lightening striking my house, or me, or that I shouldn’t have metal on me- and that the only safe place to be is in a car. But for some reason, whenever I’m in a car when there is lightning, I’m more frightened than when I’m in a house… I’m not sure how that works out though….

It’s supposed to rain on Wednesday. Possibly snow. We’ll see what happens. Should be exciting. I will write then- just like I have said.

My mind-grapes are growing weaker.

My Music

Mon, 03 Oct 2011 01:47:23 -0400

My Music:

This has been updated since the last time I posted a link to it. There are new songs on it. Listen if you care. Don’t if you don’t.

Chain Reaction of Mental Anguish

Mon, 03 Oct 2011 01:46:25 -0400

Today was an up and down sort of day. Finishing in a downward motion with the loss of the Phillies. They deceived me. I thought they were gonna win, and as much as I hate saying this- they lost purely because of Cliff Lee. I would like to say that he pitched great, but unfortunately that is not the case. Early on in the day I walked downtown and went to the thrift/antique store that I have spent much time in over the past few weeks. They know me in their now. I found a Phillies baseball hat- the kinds that they wear on the field, and it was my size- since those are fitted hats. They cost $40 new, but I bought it for $8. It still had it stickers and everything on it, and the bill was unbent- I don’t think anyone ever wore it. So when I bought it, I took off the Phillies hat that I was wearing, put it in my backpack- grabbed the new one, bent the bill, and put it on. I think the cashier thought I was crazy. But I was happy to have found a fitted hat- and it fits perfectly. It is quite nice. I walked around downtown for a few hours, going into the different pawn shops and things like that. I also bought a concert ticket for Cake which is next Saturday. That gives me something to look forward to- something to get me through the day.

I recorded a couple more songs. I’m trying to record a song every night, but that is quite difficult. I have done mostly covers, but am starting to run out of ideas in that department. So tonight I sang some Syntax songs, and they turned out good, I thought. I want to keep recording songs- I feel good when I do that. They allow me to say the things that I am unable to say to people here- even though most of them aren’t my songs- I still feel like I’m opening myself.

I still need to connect with something here- a place, a person, a food, a teacher. I would love to complain for paragraphs and scream for help- but that’s not very necessary or attractive- just know that I could do it if I had less self control.

My connectivity is mostly but not entirely related to episodes of 30 Rock- but even that makes my mind-grapes sad sometimes.

Ornette

Sat, 01 Oct 2011 02:11:48 -0400

I had a mostly good day. I got some things done. Had conversations with people that needed to happen. That is, I talked with my professors a bit. Jazz is my major. But you really wouldn’t be able to tell. I am in a ‘beginners’ jazz combo, for people that are still learning how to play jazz and such. It is in this class that we are supposed to become familiar with jazz, but as far as I’m concerned, we’ve been told to play jazz, but not told how to play jazz. I feel like I’m making a fool out of myself in the class. I don’t know what I’m doing half of the time. When he asks us to learn a song, I can do it. If we need to transcribe a solo- I can do that. But that is the extent of my comfort. When we learn songs- we go around the room and solo, as one could probably guess. It is in this time that I lose faith in the music. I know that I am a good guitar player. I know that I can read music decently, and that I can play music decently- but I can’t be expected to play a style of music that I’ve never been taught how to play. After classes and errands today, I went back to the music building to look for the head of the jazz department to voice my concern/discomfort, he was not around- so I decided I would look for the head of the music department, who is the teacher for my combo class. On the way to his office, I ran into him, and asked to talk to him- he was obviously on his way out- probably home. He told me to walk with him, so I started talking. I told him that I was struggling, and that I thought I was making a fool of myself. He just looked at me and kept walking. Then I told I felt like I was being told to play jazz, but not being taught how to play jazz. When I said that, he stopped, and I think he then realized what I was talking about, and how I felt. I continued talking a bit, and then he stopped me and he talked for a bit. He told me that I wasn’t making a fool of myself- that whether or not I knew what I was doing- I was a good musician. He talked a bit- as the teachers always do- about how important it is to listen, and play along too. He told me that that aspect of jazz is huge. But he understood that I was looking for something simpler than that- a more methodical way of learning… learning. So, he asked me what classes I was enrolled in, and what I was learning in my private study with my guitar teacher. I told him the only jazz class I was taking was his combo class, because that was the only one I was told to take. And that in my private study- I was not learning jazz- that I was learning technique and basics of reading music. He told me to talk to a teacher on campus who teaches Improv class. He said that that teacher was a very generous man and rarely turns anyone away. He said he would probably let me into his class and that I should go talk to him. I said I would go talk to him right then, but then he looked at me and said “Here, I’ll talk to him with you”. We walked to his office, and he went in and said “Give me a minute”. They talked in his office for about 5 minutes and then came out. I shook his hand and thanked him. He left. I went into the office and talked to the improv teacher. He was very nice. We decided that I could join his class- but I would have to do the make up work and make up quizzes and such. He said he was glad to help me- and that we would make sure I was in the class one way or another.

When I first started getting going with the first man I talked to- the one who was on his way out. I felt my eyes start to water- which was not on purpose to get him to help me- although I think now that it might have helped. He is an intimidating man. And I needed help. Anyway.

Now I am listening to the music that he suggested I listen to. I do like jazz- but I think people are too ‘kool katz’ about it sometimes. I don’t like that. You know?