I am leaving Reno tomorrow. I am not coming back. I am no overly excited to leave. You know that feeling on the last day of school before summer or even before Christmas vacation? You’re so happy? You’re so relieved to be out of there? I don’t feel that feeling. I am not sad to leave this place, just not overwhelmed with joy and excitement. I would have liked for it to work out here. 

I just had my “Jazz Final”… I performed for all the Jazz faculty. They all know that I’m leaving. They all wished me luck. I shook all their hands, thanked them, and said Happy Holidays and left. 

I have one final left. I am not worried about it, not as worried as I was earlier today. I think I was mostly worried about the Jazz performance. Not that I was nervous for its difficulty, but just nervous to be playing for humans, and playing for my teachers. I played a song, they critiqued with things like “Somers, why didn’t you go to the Eb Minor scale?” another teacher would say, “No, he went to it, it was just a bit off”. They questioned the notes I played and my phrasing. Maybe I just think too simply to need to play all those notes. Maybe I’m just a big shot kid who thinks he knows more than he actually does. I guess I’ll find out someday. Maybe I’ll understand why I should have gone to Eb Minor. 

“I don’t need you to worry for me, cause I’m all alright. 

I don’t want you to tell me it’s time to come home. 

I don’t care what you say anymore, this is my life.

Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone.”

icelandwantstobeyourfriend:

My people don’t have any gays in their military. But that’s only because they don’t have a military.

— Iceland (@thisisiceland) December 12, 2011

There is a tier of musicians that I live by. I have my top 3 that shape my life, and all other fall beneath them. It’s not that these are the best musicians in the world, by no means, but their music says more to me and does more to me than any other’s music. 

And I realized this week, that I listen to the different artists at different stages of my feelings. I will listen to Bruce Springsteen when I feel like I am lacking success in life- when I feel like I have somehow lost the point in all of my working. I think that could be because Bruce has worked so hard, and has what you could call a success story. He had, by no means, an extravagant childhood. Not to say that I have had the same, because I think my childhood has been great. I don’t have stories of my father shaving my head while I has in the hospital, or being drafted for Vietnam, or anything like that, so I know I don’t have it that bad, or bad at all. But I listen to Bruce while needing more… wanting more. 

I listen to U2 when I am emotionally, romantically, or in any way, just sad. I think it’s because their music is so clear and concise that I don’t need to guess, I don’t need to wonder what Bono is singing about. And it’s not that what I hear is what he’s saying, or what he’s singing about is what I think he’s singing about, it’s just that it makes me feel a certain way, and my body internalizes those feelings very quickly. I do not need time to react or think. It might even be, for example, that Bono could sing “I like chocolate ice-cream but never vanilla.” And that doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean a thing, but he would sing it with passion and strength, and I think those are things that I generally lack in areas of life, or at least, reciprocated passion and strength. And for those that do not like Bono or U2, that’s fine, Bono did not actually sing those words, it was just an example… to prove that I worship the ground that he walks on. Or the words that he sings. And the same applies to all of the band members, not just Bono. They all do what they do with such passion, it’s overwhelming. They evoke so much emotion because they all play with such passion that it’s almost too much passion. It’s a wonder that whatever speakers they’re being played out of don’t just explode from all of the passion. Larry, Adam, and Edge. They all play with passion and strength. 

Chuck brings be much joy. Chuck is a musical genius. His music is so simple. It is exactly what I want to be. He paralyzes me. I listen to Chuck in times of musical need… he satisfies so much. I wish I had more to say….

I’ve been thinking about people lately. More specifically, people who lack intelligence. After a long phone conversation with Mr. Day last week, I’ve had the subject of stupidity on my mind. Mr. Day and I share ideas, and share frustrations. We both do not enjoy stupid people. He talked about why Darwin was wrong… Survival of the fittest. I think I might write a bit on that. 

“Survival of The Fittest: Why Darwin Was Wrong”

Coming soon to a theatre near you…

Will YOU listen?

Snow is nice, some of the time. I realize the Bing Crosby’s “A Marshmallow World” makes snow seem wonderful… but that’s not really the case. It’s wonderful when you’re inside, or maybe outside to build a snowman. But if you’re not doing one of those things, you would prefer it not be snowing. Also, why were they so happy when it snowed in “A White Christmas?” It snowed… and maybe I remember this incorrectly, but it snowed and then everyone was happy, and there were suddenly lots of people at the lodge. How did they get there? Why were they happy. I guess they didn’t have to deal with chains. They either go to their destination or died… Those were the 2 choices. 

The road is no longer covered in snow. We are not high enough or cold enough for snow anymore, so now it’s just raining.

I have Wifi. There are about 7 people on the Greyhound. The death of public transit… I’m pretty sure this could be considered public transit. If it’s not… I don’t really care. There ain’t nobody on this bus.

That’s all. My head hurts from looking at the screen….

Safe travels.  

It was a nice today. I am finding and learning ways to combat the things that come into my head that I do not necessarily want to be there. 

I woke up and showered, dressed, and then went back to the bathroom to brush my teeth and hair. When I was brushing my teeth, the older hispanic female janitor came in and emptied the trash, she said hello in her little Spanish accent and I said good morning. She brought a new bag for the garbage can, stepped out, and I started to brush my hair. She came back a moment later with a stick of gum, still wrapped, and a piece of hard candy. She held out her open hand and she said, “Here. You my friend.” The more I think this whole situation through, the more and more wonderful it gets…. The simple things. 

I walked to class and it was quite windy. The leaves that refused to fall off of the trees are officially being destroyed by the weather. The wind was everywhere. There were tornados of leaves everywhere, and it was funny to watch people walk and then be in the middle of the tornados. Some people were walking and saw the tornado start to come to life, so they would freeze, and go around it in a furry of frustration- I think because it was messing up their hair.

Ms. Park, my Sight-Singing and Dictation teacher is leaving for Korea this weekend for a concert series that she is doing there. She won’t be returning this semester. It was sad, I liked having her as my teacher. So instead of her for the last couple weeks of the semester, we will be having her fiancé, Mr. Atapine (pronounced, uh, lets see if I can do this… ahtyap-in.) He’s Russian. He has a heavy accent and so does she. She is from Korea though. She is adorable and a wonderful piano player. She played for us today, and I think I fell in love with her. So she is leaving. Oh well. 

After classes, I had brinner. Which, for those of you who don’t know, is breakfast for dinner. I went to a friends, and made waffles. John made eggs, bacon, and sausage. And I’m pretty sure that JoyceAnn didn’t do anything, but she will tell you otherwise. Oh that’s right! She yelled at me. Now I remember.

Now I am back. I have a Music Theory test. I am comfortable with 90% of the information. The other 10% is confusing and just needs to be memorized. I am getting that done. I have flash-cards. I feel good about it though- not scared. And even if I blank on that 10%, I will still get an A, right? That math makes sense I think…. Unless more than 10% of the test is on the 10% that I don’t understand… There we go. That makes sense. Yes, yes it does. 

I don’t know why I stopped blogging on here. I sort of forgot how to write. I don’t write a lot in college. I write a page each week for Humanities, and that’s all the writing I do. So that particular skill is definitely dying. Despite the fact that this is not at all academic or graded, it still keeps those particular mind grapes from growing soggy and shrinking. That’s a conundrum. Growing soggy and shrinking. Doesn’t quite make sense, does it? See what I mean, it’s already happening. 

I will be home in almost 24 hours. That’s a good feeling. Here I come Lucky! Get my bed nice and warm and worn-in!

I will further be referring to this part of the year that we are currently in, as the ‘Holiday Season.’ While we may not be at ‘The Holiday,’ we are a part of the months that contain the holidays… Thanksgiving and Christmas. There is something naturally sad about this time of year, I do not know why. It should be a happy time, but there is sadness in it. You would think that the birth of Jesus would be a happy occasion, but maybe it’s not so happy, because you know, he dies. So there’s always that. 

But I think a large part of the sadness now is connected to me being away from home. It’s different now, having to go home for Thanksgiving, trying to make it work with classes and things like that. And just generally missing my family, and learning to appreciate them- not that I didn’t appreciate them before, but you know. 

Also, the wonders of Frank Sinatra’s “I’ll Be Home For Christmas,” which thanks to Sky, is now the saddest song in the world. It was the song that we listened to after saying goodbye to Hana and Lucas and their family when they moved to Georgia. It was a few days before Christmas, and I cried the whole drive back to our house from their house. It was an interesting experience, one which I shall not forget. 

I am setting myself up for some sort of disappointment or sadness. I have been listening to Christmas music all weekend. I don’t know why. Well, that’s not true. I do know why. Because Hana posted that She and Him Christmas song, and then I saw that they had a full Christmas album, so then I bought it. And now I have a Christmas playlist on my iTunes of Frank, Bing, She and Him, Judy Garland, and Bright Eyes. It makes me happy now, but maybe after a week of listening and no arrival of Christmas, I will start to feel the side affects. We shall see. 

My iPod is dying I think. I do not know if it is my iTunes, or my iPod, or my computer. I think it is my iPod though, because I had this same problem with the PC back at home. I try to upload music, and then my iPod crashes, and I have to restore it, and start over. I will put 1000 songs on it, and that will only take a few minutes, and then I upload some more. and it stops, and does not upload them, all I will see is the progress bar at the top of iTunes saying that it is uploading 11 of 33 songs, and 20 minutes later, it will still say uploading 11 of 33 songs. Then I don’t know what to do, and try to press the cancel button for the uploading, but it does nothing. I try to eject the iPod, it does nothing. The stupid little rainbow wheel just spins, laughing at me. Then I lose patience and just unplug my iPod and hope that the 1000 songs that I have already put on there are still there, most of the time, they are not. I have done this about a dozen times. I’m sure that me repeating this process does not help very much, but I lose my patience.